I had a rough week last week in my own mind. A few tabata workouts caused me so much soreness my weekend long run felt so trying that I finished doubting why I even run. The 8:41 pace we held for ten miles felt more like 12 minute miles with bricks on my feet.
It's normal to have bad runs but something about this one just crushed any confidence I had.
I couldn't be more grateful for my tri state running family who knocked some sense in to me and made me realize I am not a bad runner and that these things happen. Pick myself up- and carry on.
Last year I ran the cox half marathon. I've run it for the past several years but something about last year really burnt me. I ran a 1:56. Now that by no means is a bad time but when in 2011 I was around 1:46-1:49 consistently I wondered how I could slow down that much. I felt okay during the race I thought. So why didn't I do better ? Here's why: 1. I take out too fast. A half isn't a 5k. It's hard not to take off and fly but let's be practical. There's 13.1 miles to hold this. 2. I OBSESS over my watch. I look down and if my pace is slow I speed up and burn out early. If it's fast I tell myself I'm not capable of that pace and slow down. It's a lose lose situation. I know even in years I've done 1:49-1:52 range in providence the last three miles were a struggle.
I know mind over matter is huge but I don't think before this weekend I truly got why.
I ran the same two races this past weekend I've run the past 7 years. Here's what changed.
Saturday's 5k - no watch. No music. Just focus (on gasping for air LOL) I felt more relaxed and I honestly thought I was slower than usual. I finish- see the clock- boom. PR. First 5k PR since 2011. I got in the moment. I enjoyed it. And I focused on my stride and everything else I need to focus on instead of a watch face.
But the game changer ? Sunday's half.
I had music. I can't go that long without it. I do weird mind games like 2 songs per mile. Anyways- no watch. I started up near the front with the temptation to fly there , but I wasn't there to take off hard. I was up there to avoid getting stuck and weaving.
For the first time in my half marathon career - I started conservatively. No mile markers had clocks- I had no clue what I was holding. What I did know- I wasn't struggling. I wasn't tired. And I was having FUN. That was my purpose Sunday. Wasn't aiming for any time. Well here comes mile 10. The 1:45 pace leader comes right up behind me. I think he usually passes me by mile 3. It's mile 10. I feel great where i usually start to fade , and 1:45 finish is right behind me ? Okay. With a 5k to go I had two thoughts in my head. 1. Slow down a little who cares , I could slow down significantly and still break 1:50. OR ... I could believe in myself and believe in how good I felt and turn it up. I thought about it climbing up the last big hill. At this time 1:45 was a hair ahead of me.
My decision was made at the top. Go. With less than a 5k left and legs that still wanted to work it was the obvious answer.
Finish line photos haven't been released yet but I hope to god there's a pic of my face when I saw 1:43:49 as my finish.
Wait , that really happened ?
Never tell yourself you can't. Because you're capable of more than you credit yourself for.
So blessed for the support I have in my life ❤️
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